I feel the painful winter upon us and I think, how long will I have to endure this kind of pain. Living with constant chronic pain is not easy. But living in New Jersey during the long six months of winter makes it that much harder.
Just walking outside for a few minutes is like having knives stuck into my spine and joints. I think, how much more of this can I take? My feet feel as if there are thousands of bee's stinging them. Every day I think why and for how long? Life hasn't been kind to me. And I want to scream.
I dream of the beach and how wonderful it will be when we finally go south and my winter worries are over. Or will we be stuck here, No scratch that. I refuse to live here and torture my body any longer than I actually have too.
If I learned anything from my Dad's untimely death is was that life is way too short. And we have to live our lives the best we can. As soon as humanly possible I will get my little ass out of here.
I am much happier when I'm close to the beach. A feeling of calm comes over me and my mind and soul actually give me a feeling of peace. Its hard to explain but my body reacts to the beach much in the same way. I feel young again.
And so as I sit here finishing a blog that was half written I think to myself; Not one day longer than I have too. Not one day..