So I have been doing a lot of thinking about this fourth installment of Sexy Sunday all week. And today this is for the Ladies. But guys you too can learn a lot by listening to what I have to say. You might even be able to help your lady get started.
Last week we talked about getting online and buying some sex toys. Stepping outside your comfort zone is something that can and will open up a whole new world of sexy for you and your partner. As women we have been taught to be good girls, not to give it away. And to keep it safe. What and who are we keeping it safe from? Yea my thoughts exactly, No one. So why not use it of lose it ladies. As women that's exactly what happens we either use it or we lose the want or need to have sex. So you ask how do we get that need back? We start slowly having sex. And we use our brains to turn us on.
Looking at some soft porn, or reading erotic romance books such as mine can open up the flood gates to your sexy self. And once you start to feel that tingle between your legs there is no stopping it until you scratch that itch so to speak. Just have fun with your sexy side. Don't take it so seriously.
Ladies here are some facts; men reach their sexual peaks in their twenties and go down hill from there. Now we all know that what I'm saying is not scientific. I'm no doctor and all women are different.
Sure those Orgasms we had in our late teens and twenties were pretty good. But we don't reach our sexual peaks till we're in our thirties. Then we get to our forties and the orgasms get bigger and better. And once we hit fifty I can only speak from experience but the orgasms are OMG, Holy Shit! Cue the orchestra, Every little thing that you do, It just keeps getting better.
Yes Ladies our bodies may be changing and our hormones may be out of whack but we can and do have the best sex of our lives as we get older. We want the best orgasms and we want them now! If you haven't been teaching your partner what kind of sex you want or like it's time to start.
Or you can just keep going on the way you have been for years. That's totally up to you. But if you're reading this post than you're ready for more. That twice a year just isn't doing it for you anymore. You want to feel what all those other women are feeling. Yes you too want the Big mind blowing sheet grabbing fuck me now Orgasms.
If you haven't done it already try ordering yourself one of those amazing magic wands. And while you're at it pick out a dildo; rubber, glass or stainless steel. . Why not start by giving yourself an amazing Orgasm. You certainly don't need a partner to have one or three. What are you waiting for. If you want to know how your body works why not experiment on yourself. Some of us need time. We have to clear our minds and think of only ourselves. We have to learn to be selfish. And we need lube. There is nothing wrong with adding that slippery stuff. In fact I insist on it.
Now if you want to share the best sex of your life with your partner. You're going to have to communicate. And once you start communicating it only gets easier. You will wonder why you didn't do it sooner. This is the man or women you love. Tell them that you took the magic wand out of the box and bounced it on and off your clit. When they see the smile on your face they're going to be happy for you.
I know the first time I told my hubby that I played with myself alone he actually made me feel even better about giving myself that orgasm. We have it in our brains not to touch ourselves. Well I am saying go for it. You're not going to hell. You're going to find your magic button. And once you find it there is no putting the Jeanie back in the bottle. You will start to want more sex.
Lay back on that bed with the pillows propped up and touch your body. I know it feels funny but once you start to explore you're going to be glad you did. There is nothing wrong with it.
In fact the young women of today are doing it all the time. So if you have a daughter do her a favor and get her a vibrating bullet and put it into her bag as she leaves for college. It will open up a whole new dialogue between you two. She may even think your are Cool for once in your life. And if you don't get it for her she will just buy it herself if she hasn't already.
Teach her what our mothers were afraid to teach us. And teach your sons to be kind, honest and open with their spouses too.
And Ladies if you haven't been giving your partner any sex. You can't get mad when he's getting himself off. It's just that simple. Your man has a computer and he is looking at porn. It's what all men do, he's normal. Men want and need more sex then we could ever give them.
Maybe you want to start out slow, how about some kissing. When was the last time you made out with your partner. Now it really depends on you. Or what road you and your partner want to go down. Again I hate to repeat myself but if you cannot talk to your partner then how on earth are you going to have good sex. If you can't honestly say what it is that you want in bed then how how is your partner supposed to know what you want. Do some research together. Start dating again. The only rules to having good sex are you should make them together.
Now if its kink you want than you can have that too. If you have been reading all the post on my blog you know that kinky sex doesn't mean you need a bullwhip. kinky sex is whatever you want it to be. A blindfold and a feather, playing dress up or some Velcro restraints and a butt plug. The blindfold is an amazing piece of kink wear. It lets you open up, drop your inhibitions. And the sex is Fucking amazing. But you have to have total trust in your partner. If you don't trust your him/her then kink is out. And always remember with kink the motto is; SSC, or safe, sane, and consensual.
So lets say you and your partner have never had good sex. Or maybe the only problem is that you haven't had good sex in a long time. Again talk to each other. Maybe every time he made a move or asked, you turned him down. Men will give up after a while. If you have been saying no for years they figure what's the use in trying. It's sad but it happens in marriages and with couples every day.
The time has come for you both to fix this and get back on track. It's time to turn this love train around. Say to him/her "Hey babe, you want to have sex?" Watch the look on your partners face.They will probably think this is a trick question. Tell them you're serious. Smile and say "I'll meet you in the bedroom in a half hour."
Go take a shower and get your self in the mood for an hour of adult play time. If you haven't already its time to shave your pussy. And if he hasn't done it already ask him to manscape. Now if your partner isn't that good at eating pussy or foreplay you're going to have to teach them. But for now bring that little water proof vibrator you purchased online into the shower with you and get your body started.
Tell your partner you want to start having more sex. That you want to talk about it more. And that you want to have fun with this. Make sure you include him/her in your research. Ask yur partner if he/she can bring up some of the how to video's on different things you both can try. Nina Hartley has great how to video's on u-tube. And if you think he/she needs help in the pussy licking department have your partner read the blog I added from News Press on Cunnilingus. It even has pictures. Just show it to them. Hopefully he/she picks up some important tips on how to actually do it. Just don't give up.
And don't get upset if your man may get so excited that he cums in less than a minute because he hasn't had it in awhile. It happens All that time. you've been thinking this is the night and he's done as soon as you start. Start slow ladies.
Take your time. Better yet, communicate with your spouse. Just talk to him/her Let them touch your body. Believe me if you want to talk about sex your partner is going to be willing to answer any questions you may have. And once you start giving him that blow job, go slow. Watch a how to video if your not sure you're doing it right. Or ask him what feels good.
Now this week try walking around the house in a tee shirt with no bra. Let those boobies loose. I know its cold but men like it when our nipples are erect. They actually think it means we are turned on, haha..Yea let them think that you are.
Smile when he say's Nice Nips. Go over to him and kiss his lips, let him touch you. If he's to ruff tell him. How about licking a Popsicle in front of him. Believe me, you're both going to be laughing. And that's the best kind of sex. When you are both laughing and having fun with it.
Having more sex makes us happy. And laughing at each other makes it fun. But I bet you didn't know it can also can turn the clock back on ageing. Bathing your skin in anti-inflammatory molecules such as Oxytocin and beta endorphin's. Yes I have been doing my homework. I hope that what I'm saying is helping you both and drop me an e-mail and let me know if there is something you want to know about.
Until next week, Have a Sexy Sunday. And don't forget the lube!..
Each week I post my Sexy Sunday on WordPress, SEX w/Annie @ http://www.sexwannie.wordpress.com/ .
Leave a comment, or ask a question. We all need a little help every now and again. Can your psychologist with the PhD say she or he's been happily married to one man for 30 years? I've been through just about everything. I want to help you get your sex life back on track. Don't be shy, ask away..Or better yet, stop by my WordPress page. This is where I get all of my comments..